What's new--besides my great new Blog Template?

This is Nick's Quilt!

Yes, my Main Character of my Novel has had a quilt made for him by his Girlfriend, Sarah and her Cousin Katie. Of course, I made this one myself. But that's not all, Nick has an E-mail Address too. It is ChiefMechaNick@yahoo.com. That's right. Now you can E-mail Nick himself and he might even answer your e-mails! Go figure! These are real people here, with lives of their own!

I just finished writing the horrifying tumultous scene in the book. I don't want to ruin it for you but lets just say that no one got away unscathed, not even me. Things were going so well for my two love birds too. But now they are nearly back to square one! It's sad, but neccessary. After all this is what the book is about.

Anyway, I'm taking a few days off to finish up some quilting before my guild meeting. I got a bunch of stuff done today. I got the Round Robin all quilted and I have to put the binding on it tomorrow. I'd let you see it, except my camera batteries are getting charged up right now. Oh well, maybe next week.

So how about this Blog Template!! Cool huh?! I have to tell you where I got it. I got it off a great Website called Spirit's Templates. It's run by a friend of mine who does custom templates for Blogs and websites. Isn't she a genius? A CREATIVE genius! She's a writer too. I met her on the Nanowrimo site!

Eleanor Howard has been helping me hand quilt my Grandmother's Flower Garden Quilt and it's nearly finished. That's my oldest UFO! Can't wait to see that one finished.

I finish no less than 6 quilt tops last month. I know I haven't updated since November but really, it was the Christmas season and everyone goes a little nuts in the winter. They don't call it Cabin FEVER for nothing! We here in Michigan get stir-crazy looking at nothing but white and grey all the time!

So I'll cut this post short for now until I can get some new photos taken of my newest quilt tops. Thanks for looking in.

Cindy K-K

The Busy Month of November!

This has been an exciting month. But it just goes to show what I can get accomplished if I am interested, driven, excited, and motivated!

November is Nanowrimo or National Novel Writing Month. We try to write a 50,000 word novel in one month. Yes, and there are many people who make the mark. There is one week left in this month and already I have written in excess of 67,000 words. The Novel I’m writing is called “Through Her Eyes” and it’s about a young man by the name of Nick who is an ex-con. As he leaves the prison complex at Jackson Michigan he gets on a bus and meets a high school girl who is at a cross-roads in her own life. They only chat together for a matter of a couple of hours while they travel toward a town that one is going back to and the other has never been before but will have to live in for a year. They are both trapped by their pasts and have less than certain futures. Sarah has suffered the loss of her father and her innocence, and is fleeing her comfortable home for an uncertain future with her aunt. Nick is going back home to a place where he had no direction and friends who tried to get him in trouble.

They make a connection on this journey. This connection lasts them through a turbulent couple of weeks while they sort out their personal woes and make new strides toward finding ways to cope with their own situations. When they finally come together again they are set on their paths and they find that having one another is fulfilling a need that neither really admitted to themselves.

I am about one third of the way through the novel at the moment with one week of Nanowrimo left. Above is the collage that I did for the cover of the plotting book.

Other things that have happened this month: I had arm surgery. Hopefully the last one. I now have a complete Ulna in my arm. I am not in hand therapy at the moment but I may have to do that soon. Can’t tell! I don’t have to go back to Ann Arbor until the middle of January! Glory be, I hope the weather will be OK for traveling!

I also took the class by Ann Loveless on how to do her landscape quilts. It was a really fun class and I love the resulting wallhanging that I made. Here is a picture of the unfinished version. I have some thread painting left to do on it, and then the binding. I would have loved to put a border on it too, but that would have required a little extra planning at the beginning. Next time! And there WILL be a next time!

It kind of reminds me of the Robert Frost Poem, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening. Here is a link to the whole text: http://quotations.about.com/cs/poemlyrics/a/Stopping_ByWood.htm

I also finished a Needlepoint piece that I intend to use as a pocket for a new purse. The needlepoint was a UFO but now so is the purse, so I’m not getting the pins for it until I am totally finished with it.

So far so good, I’m getting things accomplished! Thanksgiving is coming and this year I am thankful for my smaller stomach, my increased energy and my loving family! Hope all of you have just as good a holiday season as I am planning!
Cindy K-K

UFO Club Update

October 25, 2008 my guild started a new UFO club. This was my own brain child and I am running it as well as participating in it. Here is how it works:

Everyone who joins the club gives me four Fat Quarters and a list of projects that they wish to finish. I will then sign them up as a club member and give them a pin (safety pin with beads on it) for signing up. Then every time one of them finishes a project they get another pin. I have been giving out extra pins for things like being the first to do something or for signing up early or whatever else I can think of. I have already finished one of the projects on my list, the blue scarf, and it's marked on my UFO list as finished, as you can see. I made great strides on Saturday by layering four different quilts that I intend to finish soon. I also pulled out the friendship stars that our Border's group traded last year and they are up on my design wall waiting to be pieced into into a top. I have three projects on my sewing table that I am piecing, the nibblet borders for the tomato quilt, the second border for the rainbow color wash and the schlepp bag. This is all just sit down and sew type stuff and I will get to it all today no matter what else happens on God's green Earth! Because then I will be piecing the friendship stars before I go to bed tonight!

You see my dilemma? I have these grandiose plans and, even worse, a warped view of what I can get done in any given time period. What I need to do is multiply the amount of time I think it's going to take by two and then repeat that every time I think about it! Then I will have a right guess!

The killer thing is this: I also intend to to do NaNoWriMo next month. Next Month!!!??? That's tomorrow!! I'm supposed to start that tonight at Midnight! Where has October gone? Ok, no matter! I'm not pulling any all nighters anyway. I have to save my energy because I'm having surgery again on November 6th. So I will do what I can this month. No pressure!

One of my goals for 2009 will be to update this Blog more often. I am thinking about just going ahead and deleting what I have now and starting again fresh but then I read an article on Blogging that described it as a journey, a process of developing a voice. Well, I will leave this alone then and see how it develops!

One more thing. The main reason for finishing all of these UFO's is to free up my space, both in my house and in my head, for more creative projects like writing and like my more artistic endeavors. With this in mind I have to tell you, my loyal non-existent and totally imaginary readers, that I have a project in my head that is truly creative. I got the idea from a Cloth/Paper/Scissors magazine, one of my two new favorite magazines, and I have been running with it in my head. I am now almost ready to start it. I just have to buy some sandpaper and some wood glue! More on this endeavor later.

Goal for November: Blog at least once a week! No more big gaps!

Cindy K-K

Leafy Round Robin Done!!!

Dispite how it looks in this photo, the leaf quilt is now finished and ready to put in our show next month. This was a round robin made by seven members of the Border's Quilting group better known as the Border Babes, which is a segment of the Rumpled Quilts Kin guild. Out coming show will be on October 11th at St. Francis High School in Traverse City. Admission is $5.

This quilt started out as four fall leaf orphan blocks. It first went to Laura Munck, the chipster! who attached the first border of batik leaves. Then it went to Judy Dunmire who put on more maple leaves in the light brown background. She broke the rules a little. I specified that I only wanted batiks in my quilt and she put in a regular print. Good thing it doesn't detract from the overall beauty! Next it went to Ellie Panek who is sadly now deceased. She put on the wonderful blue border with the three dimentional leaves. Next the quilt tripped over to Nancy Crow's residence where she attached the saw tooth edge border. Then it waltzed over to my dear friend Sues Simpson, who found a lot of great fabrics to add all of her piano keys border with one appliqued stylized rose. Then it was up to Elaine Penney to finish it off with a final border and she chose to add the yellow flange backed up by the lovely green and gold batik border. When I got it back I thought, my goodness this is sure huge! It was too big for a wall hanging but not quite big enough for my bed. So I decided to add one more border, well actually two, to make queen sized. So I made more of those wonderful fall leaves that I began with and made a top and bottom border with those and then bordered it one last time with a wonderful gold batik. TaDAAAA! It has a dark green variagated binding now and is totally finished! I am so proud of it. It is going on my bed as soon as I take it down from the show.

Above is another quilt I just finished. It's a miniature Amish 4-patch. It too will hang in the show.

More later as I get quilts finished and pictures taken.

Cindy K-K

Waiting for Weight Loss Surgery

This year I have had one big, gigantic, huge project that I have been working on. That project is Weight Loss Surgery. In March, Jeff, my husband, came to me and told me that he had a way to pay for the surgery if I really wanted it. Before that day he had asked me a question. The question was this: What was I planning to do?

What he meant by that was this: He always thought I should have a job, because it would give me something to do every day. He also thought I should get outside and walk more often just for more stamina and better health. He offered to buy a gym membership for us. He has done everything humanly possible to encourage me to get myself together and lose some weight. But I have tried so often that I am worn out from trying. I think this should be considered a syndrome. The FAILED DIETERS SYNDROME! It happens when you start out as a young person who is maybe 10 or 15 lbs overweight, and you try to lose it by going on a diet. You lose it but then it comes back double because you have gone off the diet. Then year after year you continually try diet after diet, sometimes with exercise sometimes not, and you have success with the weight loss at first but then you go off the diet or exercise program and it comes back and then some. This happens year after year, for maybe twenty or thirty years. Some people yoyo up and down their entire lives, gaining and losing 100's of lbs over the course of their lifetimes. After a while they get so weary of this huge struggle of losing only to gain it all back again that they stop trying, no that's not exactly true, they are no longer capable of trying!

I could write a book on this phenomenon, and probably should! FDSers end up severely overweight, they suffer from a myriad of health issues all stemming from being overweight, heart problems, high blood pressure, bone and joint ailments, diabetes, feet and back problems, thyroid and metabolic problems. I have four of these issues at least. I believe that it is also a fact that the more of these issues that an FDSer has the harder it is to start over again on a weight loss program. Even if they do start a weight loss program on their own (meaning not under the supervision of a trainer or coach or at the Biggest Loser ranch) then they may be able to try their best for a while but after a few days they don't see any progress right away, they lose hope faster and faster each time until they are simply incapable of trying again. Even if they have a friend or loved one that is acting as a support person, they can last a little longer, maybe a few weeks. After a few weeks or a month they look at their weight loss and it is woefully low due to the fact that they are building muscle which weighs more than fat. But the numbers are not adding up in their minds and they lose heart. They start back tracking and wearing themselves out trying to overcompensate with harder and harder workouts and lower caloric intakes. This forms a downward spiral and again they take a break from their exercise routine, sometimes never to return.

These are all things that I have done, I know these things from experience. I feel stuck in this hole that I have made with my fat.

The answer to my husband's question: I'm going to die. I am waiting to die!

Between lack of exercise and the inability to curb my appetite for good rich foods, I had reached 357 lbs. Every year I didn't lose weight I got so that I could do less and less in my home. At first I just couldn't clean the floors, so I would ask Jeff to do it for me. Then for a while I couldn't bend over long enough to clean the bathroom, so Jeff took this job as well. Then I couldn't do parts of my hobby that I needed to do. I couldn't layer the quilts by myself, so I would ask my quilting friends to help me with that. Soon I couldn't stand up long enough to do dishes or to cook dinner. I would try very hard to do these things but my belly fat got in the way of standing at the sink so I would have to wash dishes bent over at the waist, my arms resting and propping me up against the sink. But this position made my back ache in very short time. So finally Jeff took over doing the dishes every morning for me. Our son Jake started Culinary school last year so he started doing much of the cooking in the house. Eventually it got so that the only thing I could do to keep the family going was shop and pay bills. But soon I got so that I couldn't shop any more too. I could walk around the store and collect the items we needed, and get them into the car, but once I got home there was nothing left. If one or both of the men weren't there, I could not get the groceries into the house. Then, last winter, I was in bed with some sort of a flu for over three weeks. At that point I couldn't stand up, I couldn't sit up for more than an hour at a time, I couldn't walk the stores, if I tried I started sweating profusely and people would ask me if I was alright. I was so far from getting a job or walking or even doing the dishes, that I couldn't imagine getting through a day without two naps and a lay down on the couch to watch a movie.

This was in February. This is when my husband asked me his question.

What was I going to do?

I was waiting to die!

This I think shocked him. I think he finally figured out that I meant it. I could see no other future for myself. I was going to die from being morbidly obese. This fat was going to kill me, and I was simply waiting for it to happen.

This is when he decided to try this last new approach! He figured out a way for me to get weight loss surgery. He told me that he could pay a one time medical bill out of his 401K without having to pay a penalty. In other words, he was willing to give up his retirement so that I could live longer, and possibly share in his old age. At the age of 51 he still had 10+ years to go before retirement, and I am pushing hard at the heels of 50 and been unemployed for the last six years.

I went to the April seminar given by Grand Traverse Surgery, a group of surgeons who do Bariatric surgery in my town. After the seminar I had to do a lot of soul searching to see if I was really worthy of having this done. I have failed at so many many things over the years, why should I spend all of my family's resources on a surgery for myself that may end up in failure? I searched my heart and soul and prayed to my maker over this issue. Then I had a doctor's appointment with my family physician and she said that I would probably be able to get off 90% of my expensive meds if I had this surgery. I did the preliminary work that would get me a consulting appointment. They sent in the information to my insurance company and I was approved to have the surgery. They said they would pay for 70% of the surgery. So that put the amount we would have to pay down to the $7000 deductible and whatever they wouldn't allow above and beyond the 70% which we are now hoping will not be more than a few thousand dollars. We of course will not know until much later, but once I get thin I will be able to pay him back his retirement fund. I will not be paying for meds, I will have a job and be making money. I will pay him back! I will!

Not that he has asked me to. Not that he wants that money back. He has told me that he wants me to live, that's all he is asking. He wants me to live my life again.

Winter is now coming again. I can feel the press of it on my psyche. I have not built up any stamina with walking over the summer. In fact, I probably have gained much weight over the summer, my Blood sugar is probably very high, my cholesterol is totally out of whack, my blood pressure was so high at the appointment with the Cardiologist that he raised my dosage.

OK but the other thing that is happening is this: I am waiting for a phone call. I am waiting for Angie, at Grand Traverse Surgery, to call me and schedule an appointment to get the final ball rolling so that I can schedule my surgery for late October (hopefully) or Early November (at the latest?).

I have, over the last five months, changed my view of my future. I have done this with the help of the GTS Support List and their Support group meetings. I have met a number of truly helpful people who are living with Weight Loss Surgery and it's aftermath. They have taught me to be hopeful again. They have taught me that with surgery, support and seeing this new opportunity, not as a be all end all to my weight problem, but as a tool of my recovery, I will be able to be a thin adult for the very first time in my life, I will wear those smaller clothes. I will be able to ride my bike again. I will be able to run, and wear nice female shoes again, I will be able to take karate, and fit into my quilted jacket that I made for myself. I will be able to clean my floors again, and I will be able to weed my garden. I'll be able to give basketry classes, and finish my novel. I will be able to do more writing because my house will be in order, and my mind will be in order. I will be able to take the little baby steps everyday that will lead me to true happiness. I will live my life. I will be able to live my life! I will live! I will no longer die, I will not wait to die any more.

I am now waiting to live!!

Up Coming T.C. Film Festival

Well, the T.C. Film Festival now only in it's third year, has become an annual favorite of mine. This year my husband has even asked to see one of the films. So today is the day that I go and stand in line for tickets. I have one of those telescoping chairs in the van in case the line is too long and I need a little break. But I don't intent to go early so I'm hoping that the line will at least be moving.

My film choices this year are a bit limited, most of the films are documentaries, I think because the founder of our festival, Micheal Moore, is an Oscar winning director of documentaries. But I like the American Indie's, and he has included a range of those as well. I have chosen ten shows to see over the five day period. I hope I can get tickets to all of them.

No progress on the quilting so far. I've been working on beading mostly. I did a beaded fringe for my bedroom lampshade. And, while I had them out, I started the knitting on several more of my little beaded bags. I don't have any more buyers for these bags, but I am continuing to make them because I have the supplies! Might be silly but then, you never know when I might have the chance to attend a craft show and need something to sell.

Yesterday, at my Border's Hand working Quilting group, we discovered a new magazine called "Quilt-mania" from France. In the current issue on page 29 is the prototype for the applique raffle quilt that I want to do for our guild. It has the Border Babe seal of approval and I will write up the instructions and hand them out at the next guild meeting. I will also make a color copy of the picture in the magazine so people can see what we're aiming at. We had been going round and round about this raffle business and at this point I'm just doing what I said I would do and let the chips fall where they may. I said I would head up the design and construction of an applique raffle quilt and that is what I intend to do. I'll let other people worry about whether it will be in the raffle itself or if it will only serve as a daily drawing at the show. I think it would add up to more ticket sales if there is more than one quilt. But that's just my humble opinion, and opinions have been running strong about this issue.

I have also been cleaning out the old magazines from my scrapbooking box and tearing out the pages I want to keep. It came in handy at this moment in time because I found an idea for an edible topiary that you make out of lolly-pops and candy. Sounds like just the creative idea I needed for my next guild meeting, at which I have signed up as hostess. It will make a nice summery looking centerpiece for the table and it will be eaten so I will just throw away the styrofoam at the end, easy clean up!

I have somewhat designed another dozen pages on my scrapbook. I am working on the book called, "The book of Me" by Angie Pedersen. After I do these dozen pages I will be at the interesting part of the book. The author takes us into a voyage of discovery about ourselves and our characters, our core beliefs, and our purpose in life. These are things I have been interested in all my life. Her take on them is a little different than mine, she believes that if we document these things in a positive and permanent way, they become part of our arsonal of inspiration and determination to live well. I can see this very clearly. So that's why I wanted to spend more time on this book.

Like most books in my life these days it was introduced to me by one of the facet ladies. That what I call them. They are a group of ladies that I met when I was asked to join their group. they are an eclectic collection of fifteen or so ladies who are creative, wise and each struggling with their own life issues. Some of us a quilters, some crafters, some writers, some mothers and grandmothers, some teachers, ladies from all over the English speaking world! We offer each other opinions, hope, wisdom, encouragement, and knowledge. It started out as a book study group, to which we added a thing called the circle jar where we put our prayers for each other, but now we have evolved into a support system for each other. None of us have met in person, all together, but we communicate weekly over the internet. Some of us have met at times. I personally have only met one of them face to face. But we all know each other.

I figured I would introduce them to whoever turns up to read this blog since from time to time I will refer to them, they are that much of an influence on my life. I will refer to something a "Facet" said, or talk about "one of the Facet Ladies!"

So that's where I'm at today. Before the box office opens at noon I want to eat a little breakfast and work on the scrapbooking. Then I will go buy tickets ($85 worth of movie tickets at once!) And then I'll have the rest of the day to finish up some more scrapbooking, because my BFF is coming over tonight to spend a few hours watching movies and cross stitching!

TTYS,
Cindy K-K--Haunting today as usual!

Lets try this again!

Gee whiz, it's been a while since I posted! In the year and two months that have passed since this last post, I have recieved an offer to get Bariatric Surgery and am now working on getting this thing accomplished. There are a huge number of hoops to jump through, but I'm nearly there. I am almost to the end. I have to wait for a stress test on August 14. Then they can schedule my surgery. I can't wait!

I will next turn my attention to other issues. There are certain things that I am good at, involved in, and passionate about. These things are crafty in nature and a bit artistic. I am also a very good writer and I have a lot of stories that I want to write. I am also interested in walking, running, and bicycling. I really want to get back on track with those pursuits. I have also recently begun scrapbooking, and have found this to be a very creative way to document my life.

But right now I would like to set a few goals! I want to desperately try to finish as many quilts as I possibly can, and in fact finish as many other types of projects as I can. I would also like to set goals for exercise and writing. So I will post these goals as I can. And I will update progress on them as it happens. Meanwhile a listing of all the various projects will be posted soon!

Cindy K-K

Before picture?

This picture was taken a few years ago when we visited Picture Rocks in Michigan's U.P. So you can see what I'm dealing with here. It's tough sometimes to get out and walk when I sometimes haven't the energy to even get out of my chair. But I am determined to do it none-the-less. I am certain that eventually I will have more energy, more stamina, and less luggage, all I have to do is train myself to enjoy the action of walking. Coupled with photography, aided with Books on tape and music to walk by, bribing myself with interesting destinations, sights, motivations, and the like, I will continue to grow in my love and enjoyment of these walks. I will have conversations in my head, I will learn new things, I will continue to think my deep thoughts and share them in this journal.

We shall see if the next picture I put up here of myself, resembles this one. LOL!

The Haunter- Cindy K-K

A slight bribe

Today I walked down Baldwin to Garfield Road, where there are several shops, a Sherwin Williams, a flower shop, a salon, a shop that sells rubber stamps, another that sells tobacco, and a Subway Sandwhich shop. I stopped in front of the Sherwin Williams store and looked for a long time a display of wall sized murals which intrigued me greatly except that I have no big walls in my home that are not already covered with quilts. Then I stopped into the Stamp store and marvelled at all the lovely cards that the lady had made from different papers and rubber stamps, colored inks and pens and lovely new techniques of paper craft that I've never imagined, and I have a great imagination!

I stopped at the Subway Shop and got a sandwich for lunch, this was my little bribe for myself of a bit of lunch so that I would get out and walk the mile up to the shop and back. So now I know I can walk a mile. Tomorrow I will walk down to the library about 9/10ths a mile from here. From I will rest there for a few minutes and browse, then I will continue on down to State Street and take some pictures of the gardens down there. I will post them tomorrow if I come up with anything good. I will then grab a bus back home again. That's the plan. We'll see how it goes.

Cindy K-K, the Haunter

My Haunts

I am haunted by specters of death, ill health, medications, poor diet, little or no exercise and an artistic temperament. Over the past few years I have been trying to combat these hauntings with specific doses of healthy walking and a low-carb diet. This is to be a record of my new haunts, thoughts, pictures, discoveries, made as I walk about my life. I am a moody, sometimes bleak, person. So I will house my happier more positive thoughts in bright colors, and my sad, angry, or depressing thoughts in greys and blues. I have been fighting this problem all my life, and so I hold hope that I may someday claim victory over it. With the help of this journal and with He who strangthens me, all things are possible.

The Haunter, Cindy K-K